The study of body language is a real science (Kinesics) developed, in part, by Charles Darwin. It may come as a surprise to some to learn that approximately two-thirds of human communication is nonverbal.
With that in mind, it follows that to get to the truth of the matter, a person should pay more attention to the way the body moves than they do to the words spoken. Some people are naturals at reading others, but for those who are not, here are a few body language secrets that may help.
How to Read Someone's Body Language – Common Cues and Clues
Too often, people judge on appearances alone, and one may make up his minds about others based on hairstyle or the brand name of their clothing. But those are only the surface details, and they reveal very little about the real person underneath.
The study of body language is about noticing the tilt of the head, the direction of the gaze, the position of the arms, posture and other elements of movement. Unlike that designer bag or perfect orthodontia, the body language will reveal what is really underneath the facade.
Body Language Basics
When it comes to reading body language, the eyes truly are the windows to the soul. It is possible to tell a great deal about a person, simply by watching their eyes.
- Wide eyes mean the person wants others to view them as innocent and childlike
- Squinting signifies that the person doubts what is being said
- Looking up when someone else is speaking signifies boredom. This move is basically one step away from an eye roll.
- Raising the brows indicates that the person wants to appear sincere
While some eye movements may be learned (and used either consciously or subconsciously to manipulate others) they still reveal a great deal about the person's motivations. For example, batting the lashes is a learned behavior, but the woman who does this is most definitely expressing interest. The same goes for tilting the head to the side – this is a move used by both men and women to signify a submissiveness and interest at the same time.
Looking Confident Through Body Language
People who wish to be successful, both personally and professionally, understand the importance of body language. First and foremost, the key to projecting a successful image is to project a sense of confidence. While true confidence must be earned, it is possible to fake it with a few simple moves.
- Square the shoulders. Try and take up the maximum amount of physical space (without overdoing it, of course).
- Running the fingers through the hair says, "Look at me!" in a way that is neither too obvious or too demanding.
- Keep and maintain eye contact. This takes practice to get right (always err on the side of not making others uncomfortable),
Body Language to Avoid
There are some body language actions that should be avoided, including:
- Don't tuck the hair behind the ears, or make repeated attempt to smooth the hair. This communicates anxiety and lack of confidence.
- Don't tap the foot or fidget – this gives the appearance of being ill at ease.
- Don't let the shoulders curl forward, as this broadcasts a critical lack of self-confidence
- Don't offer a limp hand for a handshake. This is submissive behavior and communicates loud and clear that others are in charge of the situation.
For too long, the study of body language has been dismissed as being silly or inconsequential. Nothing could be further from the truth. Understanding body language is the first step to mastering those first impressions, and projecting confidence and good intentions in every interaction.
Sources:
Hagen, Shelly. The Everything Body Language Book Decipher Signals, See the Signs and Read People's Emotions-Without a Word (Everything Series). New York: Adams Media Corporation, 2007. Print.
River Holmes-Miller - River Holmes-Miller is a freelance writer living and working in Fort Collins, Colorado. She has worked as a grant writer and administrator ...
